2020: The Year of the Ordinary

Article first published in Cornwall Today.

As we wish one another a Happy New Year, let’s notice where contentment comes from, and be open to the extraordinary happiness to be found in the most ordinary of places.

This year I intend to make this column as ordinary as I can. Every month I plan to interview an ordinary person about ordinary things. How boring! you might say, and you’d be right. But I have a sneaking suspicion we’ll discover some extraordinarily valuable things from the ordinary people we meet this year.

Here’s why:

Every Wednesday evening a group congregates in Lifetime’s Gallery Room to draw. Led by Lifedrawing Truro, this group sketched life models throughout spring and summer and now (perhaps owing to the colder weather) they are drawing still lifes.

I’m usually counselling at this time, just down the hall in a comfortable office we call the Yellow Room, thanks to the sunlight that floods in and the sunflower-yellow sofa that stands in for the intimidating therapist’s couch.

This weekly drawing fascinates me. Art therapy is a familiar and well-evidenced form of treatment for mental health, but that isn’t why this group assembles. Our space is simply convenient - central, inviting, safe. What interests me is how entirely the people in this class, who are no different from the rest of us, can be absorbed by a familiar object when distractions are taken away. Perhaps life-drawing may be considered an extraordinary experience, but what could be more ordinary than a bowl of fruit?

Andy Warhol said, “I just happen to like ordinary things. When I paint them, I don't try to make them extraordinary. I just try to paint them ordinary-ordinary.” But by noticing and responding to the ordinary, something extraordinary did happen.

David Attenborough has noticed the opposite happen when we forget to notice ordinary things: “It is extraordinary” he points out, “that a large proportion of us never see a wild creature from dawn 'til dusk.”

Practising Gratitude this year has been a revelation to me. As I scroll back through 365 little lists of things that have brought me reassurance, comfort and joy I can’t help but notice how mundane they are. How ordinary. A walk in the park. Picking blackberries. Family dinner. Bed. “New tattoo” is a notable exception, one extraordinary event amongst a thousand small contentments.

I check the Gratitude Practice feed on Facebook to see if I’m the only one finding happiness almost exclusively in ordinary places. But no, here too are “swans on the river”, “the smell of warm bread”, “laughter”, “a good book” and “Maltesers”.

Brene Brown wisely said, “I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practising gratitude.”

This year I’ll be practising gratitude at Facebook: Lifetime Therapy Gratitude Practice and paying more attention to the ordinary things that make me feel extraordinarily well. Please do join me - it’s a private group where anyone who treats themself and others with respect is welcome.

If you would like to take part as an interviewee for this column or would like to speak to one of our counsellers about anything troubling you at this time please don’t hesitate to get in touch: info@lifetimetherapy.co.uk

Wishing you a very ordinary new year! Malachy