for Falmouth Wave, December 2021

Christmas can be a hard time. Everywhere on screen, in shops and public spaces, we’re encouraged by adverts and displays to expect Christmas to be evergreen, red and gold. Perhaps we expect to feel the vitality and sparkle of those colours, and for those around us to experience them with us. 

But Christmas comes in every colour. Grey might turn up this year, or blue, or black. As I write, The UN Climate Change Conference, COP26 is entering its final week. Research shows that over 75% of young people may now be experiencing persistent eco-anxiety. By adjusting our expectations of Christmas and by doing things a little differently, it’s possible to want less, and have more of the things that sustain us.

adjusting our expectations 

Disappointment is what happens when our expectations don’t show up. We know we can’t order the ‘right’ Christmas feelings any more than we can book the ‘right’ Christmas weather, yet many of us experience disappointment because we expect happiness to arrive along with the snow. 

Each day is coloured with a shifting and unpredictable spectrum of emotions. The paradox is that when we accept and talk about the harder ones like anxiety, disappointment and loneliness instead of rejecting or tolerating them, they are apt to change.* 

think global, act local

One of the causes of eco-anxiety is a lack of control. We depend on a healthy natural world and when it’s threatened, we feel threatened. But we don’t have to wait for political decisions to start protecting it. Connections with other people and with nature make us feel our small but integral part in something greater than ourselves: this need is almost as great as that for food and shelter. 

We know this intuitively through interactions as simple as feeling the rain on our face, having a smile returned, or holding a hand-carved wooden gift. A posted present in plastic, however ingenious, just doesn’t feel the same. And, if we buy our gifts online, we rob ourselves of the endorphins fired by walking to a shop and meeting people.

Singer and activist, Pete Seegar told us a long time ago to “think globally, act locally” and UN projects have proven the power of local environmental initiatives to drive social justice, economic development and resilience. By giving our time to community activities and our money to local businesses we find - in another great paradox - that we want so much less and have so much more. 

meeting our needs

Falmouth is a thriving community town and Lifetime is proud to be part of the colourful tapestry of this place. When I visit other towns in Cornwall and around the country I feel grateful for our independent cafés and shops and the opportunities on our doorstep to take part in anything from drama and drawing to pilates and paddleboarding. 

But it isn’t always easy to take the first step into a new community, however much we’d like to. A counsellor can help us take the first tentative steps in learning how to connect. Please get in touch if you think this could help you. 

With loneliness and anxiety affecting more of us than ever it's vital we nurture the people, places and opportunities around us - they sustain us. This Christmas will be a locally sourced one for me, and I know it will be richer in the ways that matter to me most. 

Thank you for reading

Malachy

*If you’re interested in finding out more about accepting difficult experiences and feelings, click the link below for our posts that explore therapeutic acceptance in more depth.